I’ll be heading to Waterstones in Argyle Street for the Glasgow launch of THE JANUS RUN.

I’ll be chatting about the book, writing about a city in which I don’t live, thrillers, mobsters, black ops agents and possibly tap dancing cats with fellow crime writer Neil Broadfoot.

And before you, ask no – I couldn’t get anyone better.

Kidding.

Maybe.

Anyway, it all kicks off at 6.30pm and I hope to see you.

Tickets are free but the store asks that you book, so here’s the link:

https://www.waterstones.com/events/douglas-skelton-launches-the-janus-run/glasgow-argyle-street

A very serious Caro Ramsay, Neil Broadfoot and myself. I think we’d just been told Michael J. Malone was going to sing his selection of The Krankies Greatest Hits. We promise to be jollier for Room 101.

Caro Ramsay is in the chair (unless we pull it out from under her) for what promises to be an entertaining evening of likes and dislikes and the sending of items, phrases and whatever comes to mind to Room 101.

I’ll be joining Lesley Kelly, Michael J. Malone, Neil Broadfoot, Mason Cross and Frank Muir to help raise funds for the RNIB and launch the short story collection ‘Ten Year Stretch’.

Come along and see us, raise money for a good cause, have some tablet and a Pringle (one each), maybe a wee glass of wine. And a laugh.

 

More details here:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/crime-writers-room-101-in-glasgow-argyle-st-tickets-46929104214

 

Best-selling author, the elegant Caro Ramsay™, will be giving me a verbal thrashing once again when she hosts the launch of another of my books.

I don’t know which of us is the glutton for punishment.

Caro made the kick-off for The Dead Don’t Boogie go with such a swing last year that it was odds-on she’d be back for the second Dominic Queste thriller, Tag – You’re Dead.

Tag cover

Especially as she didn’t think of a solid excuse in time.

We’ll be holding court in Waterstones Argyle Street on Thursday May 4 from 6.30pm/7pm.

Entry is free but we may charge to get out again.

Please come along and see us. Caro is already plotting how to make me squirm. You wouldn’t want to miss that.

Please cal the store on the number below to book a space.

In case you haven’t been on my Facebook page, Twitter feed or passed by any of the rooftops I’ve been shouting it from, I have a new book hitting the streets on September 8.

After four Davie McCall books, I decided a change of pace was called for. After all, writing Davie can be somewhat draining. He is, as regular readers will know, on the taciturn side. Everything about him is internal and his one-liners are rare enough for conservationists to tag them and track them in the wild.

Dominic Queste, the central character in THE DEAD DON’T BOOGIE, is different.

Where Davie is  tight of lip, Dom is so loose ships at sea issue Maydays.

I like to write dialogue and I like to add some humour. In the Davie McCall books it was the supporting characters who had all the fun, particularly Bobby Newman, Frank Donovan and Jimmy Knight.

With the Dominic Queste books (and I do hope there will be more) I can give full rein to my love of fast-flowing banter while also throwing in hefty dollops of action, mayhem and, because it’s me, darkness.

There is more of me in Dom than there is in Davie. I’ll leave it to those readers who know me to work out what parts of him are me and what parts are the way I’d like to be.

To be honest, I’d rather be more like Davie. He never says anything he doesn’t mean, he seldom says anything out of place (being taciturn does have its advantages) and he has a very direct way of dealing with those who annoy him. There are times when I wish I would just shut up. I’m sure others feel the same. That’s something I share with Dominic.

The Davie McCall books were thrillers that took a gritty, grounded-in-reality approach to story-telling.

With Queste the sky’s the limit. The first one is an action thriller designed to go like a Duracell bunny on laxatives. I didn’t burden myself by second guessing if an action scene was plausible, I just did it. So if I wanted to have a shoot-out in an east end park or a riverside car park, I damn well had them.

The approach also made me cut back considerably on the swearing. I’m sure there are people who are glad to hear that. The body count remains high, though.

Alexandra Park-1 web Alexandra Park 2-1 web Alexandra Park 3-1 web

(ABOVE – Three peaceful views of Glasgow’s Alexandra Park. Each of these locations features in the new book. They’re not peaceful for long)

I hope you enjoy the first Dominic Queste book. I hope you buy it.

Otherwise I’ve wasted my time these past few months writing the second one, TAG – YOU’RE DEAD.

THE DEAD DON’T BOOGIE  (Contraband) will be launched in Waterstones Ayr on Thursday September 1, with Michael J. Malone in the chair, and then in Waterstones Argyle Street, Glasgow, with Caro Ramsay wielding the clipboard, on Thursday September 8.

Dead Don't Boogie final

Bestselling author Caro Ramsay, below, will be putting Douglas Skelton to the question during the Glasgow launch for THE DEAD DON’T BOOGIE.

The bestselling author of the Anderson and Costello series – her latest, RAT RUN, is out now – has promised to make him cringe. And she always keeps her promises.

Come along, have a laugh, a glass of wine and maybe a nibbley thing.

caro

Caro Ramsay, Neil Broadfoot and I seem to be taking a question very seriously during last year's Death in Grantown festival. Matt Bendoris, far right, has a twinkly in his eye though. Something cheeky was coming I think.

Caro Ramsay, Neil Broadfoot and I seem to be taking a question very seriously during last year’s Death in Grantown festival. Matt Bendoris, far right, has a twinkly in his eye though. Something cheeky was coming I think.

Three years ago, if you’d asked me to stand in front of an audience and talk, I’d’ve died with my feet in the air.

Now, when I go to the fridge and the light comes on, I do a ten minute bit.

I wanted to be an actor when I was a slip of a lad (the lad in question being my father, the slip being me – thank you ‘Round the Horne’). I was never that outgoing – didn’t much like parties or socialising – but get me in front of an audience and I was off.

As I grew older I lost that ability to perform. It simply vanished. During my true crime years I made a number of TV radio appearances – still do – but that’s not the same as being up there with real people looking at you.

Then I had my first novel, ‘Blood City’, published and – gulp – I was expected to perform.

The first occasion was an event thrown by my publisher during the Edinburgh Festival and I was one of a number of authors asked to give a reading. I was one of the last called and the nervous sweat could’ve refloated the Titanic. The book was as yet unreleased so I was reading from a somewhat soggy typewritten sheet. It didn’t help that I’d forgotten my reading glasses.

I worked a little from memory and I think I may even have rewritten a section as I went along. At one point I found myself in a verbal tangle and paraphrased Harrison Ford to George Lucas when shooting the first Star Wars film – you can type this stuff, but you can’t say it. The audience laughed. They were on my side. I liked it.

Now whenever I do an event, as Donald O’Connor once sang, I like to make ‘em laugh.

Caro, Matt and myself celebrate a second great win the titanic East v West play-offs. The East Coast writers, including Neil Broadfoot, Doug Johnston and Frank TF Muir, lost despite having a home advantage and an greement ahead of time they were going to win. Craig Robertson was the impeccably fair chair.

Caro, Matt and myself celebrate a second great win the titanic East v West play-offs. The East Coast writers, including Neil Broadfoot, Doug Johnston and Frank TF Muir, lost despite having a home advantage and an greement ahead of time they were going to win. Craig Robertson was the impeccably fair chair.

Yes, my books can be dark but that doesn’t mean I have to be, at least in public. I do try to follow the sage advice of a seasoned bookseller to be windswept and interesting but my motto is take the work seriously but not myself.

I’m still no good at socialising, though, and in festival bars I’m usually the one trying to merge with the background.

 

Next up, though, is Carry on Sleuthing. What’s that? It’s a comedy-mystery radio play to be performed by four crime writers in a bookshop. Don’t say we don’t push the envelope.

You may have noticed it being mentioned on Facebook, Twitter and even this very site you are currently perusing. But in case you’ve been exploring regions of the Amazonian rain forest where the hand of man has never set foot, let me fill you in.

It’ll feature Caro Ramsay as amateur detective Letitia Luvibod who is asked to solve a perplexing mystery on board the SS Naughty Nigel.

Odious lawyer Hiram Grabbitt has been foully done to death and the suspects include bestselling author Dame Petunia Uppercrust, press baron Piggy Grunter, flapper Loxie McLovely and millionairess Colleen O’Blarney. Add in salty sea dog Captain Obadiah Trusspot, manservant Tremble and Inspector Bumble of the Yard and you have the recipe for a night of mystery and mirth.

Theresa Talbot, Michael J Malone and some eejit called Skelton will take out acting talents out for a spin as the entire supporting cast.

It’ll be fun but it is daunting.

I’m a bit of a limelighter now but I think I may have a drink beforehand. Or a Valium. Or both.

(Carry on Sleuthing can be seen for one night only in Waterstones Argyle Street on Friday April 8 at 7pm. Details in the Events section of this website)

 

Play posterJoin bestselling authors Caro Ramsay, Theresa Talbot, Michael J. Malone and Douglas Skelton in Waterstones Argyle Street, Glasgow for a very special, never-to-be-repeated (until we do it again) event.

Caro luvibod

Help crack amateur sleuth Letitia Luvibod solve the murder of hated lawyer Hiram Grabbitt on board the SS Naughty Nigel. Sift through the evidence, hear the suspects speak, gasp in awe as the culprit is revealed, wonder at the cast’s acting ability, groan at the jokes, head for the nearest bar.

Admission is free (but we may charge you to get out again).

Please reserve the space by calling the store on 0141 248 4814.

Copies of the authors’ books will be on sale.

Ragnar Jonasson, Craig Robertson and Quentin Bates during a recent event in Waterstones Argyle Street for the release of 'Snoblind'. During the chat, talk of noir labelling came up.

Ragnar Jonasson, Craig Robertson and Quentin Bates during a recent event in Waterstones Argyle Street for the release of ‘Snoblind’. During the chat, talk of noir labelling came up.

 

READER: So you’re a Scottish writer?

ME: That’s correct.

READER: And you write crime, right?

ME: That’s also correct.

READER: So, it’ll be Tartan Noir you write, then?

I may smile on the outside but inside I’m wincing, just a little.

Tartan Noir.

It’s a handy label to be sure but I think it’s unfair to lump everything together written in the crime and mystery genre in Scotland, or by Scots.

Yes, I’m Scottish. Yes, what I’m writing at the moment could be termed noir. But there’s not a trace of tartan. There’s no shortbread, haggis or bagpipes, either. Although someone did eat some flat sausage in ‘Blood City’.

The crime genre is vast and Scottish writers run the gamut of police procedurals, domestic noir, thrillers, mysteries, cosy crime and black comedy – themselves handy labels which can cover an array of sub-genres.

We write stories that are set in Scotland with a distinct Caledonian background and often with a dark Celtic sensibility.

But here’s the thing –

The majority of them could be set anywhere.

Yes, it’s the strong background that can give them their edge, although not all Scottish crime is edgy, but you could take the plotlines, plonk them down beyond Hadrian’s Wall, create a similarly strong background and they would still have an edge.

My stories, for instance, would work just as well in Manchester, Newcastle, Liverpool or London, had I the local knowledge to make them breathe.

I recently attended an event in Waterstones Argyle Street to coincide with the release of Ragnar Jonasson’s ‘Snow Blind’ (Orenda Press). The subject of the ‘noir’ labelling came up in conversation with Craig Robertson and Quentin Bates, in this case ‘Nordic Noir’.

Sure it’s just a label but Quentin made the point that such labelling shouldn’t be necessary. It’s all crime, whether the accent Icelandic (as in Ragnar’s work), Scottish or English.

A vast amount of superb crime comes from England but I’m not aware of any all-encompassing label for their work.

Nor Irish, nor Welsh.

Certainly we don’t call any crime novel from the USA ‘Yankee Noir’.

So my message is this – view ‘Tartan Noir’ as nothing more than a handy label but don’t let it put you off. Crime writing in Scotland is varied and wonderful and funny and dangerous and dark and exciting and infuriating.

Just like the country itself.

I’ll end with another conversation I had with a crime reader.

READER: I like crime fiction.

ME: Glad to hear it.

READER: No, I really like crime fiction.

ME: I’m really glad to hear it.

READER: I don’t like Scottish crime fiction, though.

ME: Why not?

READER: Well, it’s just so…Scottish.

I was, frankly, gobsmacked.

You see, this reader was Scottish.

Cannae win, neither ye can.

 

So I’ve got a new book coming out. I may have mentioned it once or twice.

Authors can be an anxious bunch at the best of times but more so when they’ve a new title about to hit the shelves.

They’ve sweated over every word, they’ve laboured over every sentence, they’ve strained over every chapter. It’s taken months of blood and tears, of writing and rewriting and chopping and changing and slicing and dicing until, finally, the printed book is in their hands and about to be unleashed on the world.

The launch comes first. That’s when you sit in front of an audience, generally made up of people who know you but ‘proper’ readers are always welcome, and you talk about yourself and your book. They’re fun affairs, very relaxed, and the publishers generally provide free wine, which proves an attraction to friends and relatives who are fed up hearing you talk.

After that, the book’s out there on its own. Your baby, fending for itself with bloggers and reviewers, fighting for breathing room on bookshop shelves, desperate to be face out but often finding itself spine out, until the author or some gallant friends come along and fix things.

Worry lines

I’m sure there are authors who don’t give a tup’penny damn whether people like their books. They may be so certain that people will buy them that they can breeze through this process with a song in their heart and a confident smile on their lips.

I’m not one of them and I don’t know any authors who think that.

I worry. I mean, real worry. I even seek solace in whisky. Okay, I do that even when I’ve not got a book out.

Here’s what goes through my head …

Is it good enough?

Will they like it?

Will it sell?

Does it make sense?

Will it get good reviews?

Will it get ANY reviews?

Will it sell?

Is it too sweary?

Is it too violent?

Should I have taken that sex scene out?

Should I have kept the aliens/dinosaurs/vampires/zombies/superheroes/animated characters in?

And finally…

WILL IT SELL?

My sleepless nights began on Monday night. It’s now Wednesday. The launch is tomorrow.

Now, where’s that whisky..?

Devil’s Knock will be launched in Waterstones, Argyle Street, Glasgow at 7pm. Entry is free but we may charge a fee to get back out again! If you’d like to go, and you are most welcome, please phone the store on 0141 248 4814.

Caron Macpherson of Waterstones Argyle Street introduces Michael J. Malone and Douglas Skelton at the launch of 'Crow Bait' in 2014.

Caron Macpherson of Waterstones Argyle Street introduces Michael J. Malone and Douglas Skelton at the launch of ‘Crow Bait’ in 2014.