It’s autumn so that means it’s time to return to Grantown for the Halloween weekend.

This is always a high spot on my calendar, not the least because we get to do Carry on Sleuthing.

OK, maybe audiences don’t share our enthusiasm but the cast enjoy themselves. Well, most of them.

And this year, it’s a BRAND NEW show, entitled A MURDER IS MISPRONOUNCED!

Regular cast mates Caro Ramsay, Michael J. Malone and I will the joined by guests stars SG MacLean, Lesley Kelly, Olga Wojtas and James Oswald in the comedy. For want of a better word.

Shona MacLean has walked the boards before, so she should know better. Lesley Kelly has also appeared in a previous show. Olga and James are fresh meat…sorry, newcomers.

The play kicks off the festival weekend during which all the above will be joined by author Mark Leggatt for panels and chats and, on Saturday night, a quiz being concocted by Caro Ramsay.

It really is a fun weekend and if you can get to this lovely town nestling at the foot of the Cairngorms, then we’d love to see you.

See the poster illustrations for details. All events will take place in the newly refurbished Grantown YMCA Community Centre on the Main Street.

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What am I doing right now, I hear you say?

Well, I’ll tell you – I’m trying to think up (Skelton speak for steal) as many jokes as I can for the opening event of this year’s crime writing festival in sunny Grantown-on-Spey.

For the past three years we have presented a new Carry on Sleuthing on the Friday night but this year is different.

Letitia Luvibod, the real-life alter ego of the fictional Caro Ramsay, has a subsequent appointment and has managed to avoid the show this year.

Frankly, we couldn’t do it without her. She told us.

So, Michael J. Malone and I have put our heads together. It was quite painful and I don’t know why we did it.

Anyway, the upshot is the opener this year will be a pot pourri of comedy. And if you have some pot, it might help.

Rather confidently called You’ll Die Laughing, the show will feature the aforementioned Mr Malone and myself, along with special guests.

I’m scribbling away right now. Well, not right now because I’m typing this, but you know what I mean. However, the only thing I can say with any measure of confidence is that the show will feature a Sherlock Holmes parody.

We think.

But the festival as a whole is super exciting. OK, no Caro Ramsay this year but we do have Theresa Talbot, Lesley Kelly, Margaret Kirk, Hania Allen, Olga Wojtas, Gillian Galbraith, Denzil Meyrick as well as, of course, Michael and your current correspondent.

All the events take place in the Pagoda, which is a superb venue, and the festival kicks off on Friday November 1.

Now – back to writing some original comedy.

I say, I say, I say….my dog has no nose…

I’m laughing already.

It’s an attractive little town, like many in the highlands. Neat streets. Solid stone buildings. Stunning views to the mountains.

But for one weekend a year it becomes the focal point of murder and mayhem. A centre of dark acts and despicable deeds.

And that’s just the jokes in Carry on Sleuthing!

Yes, it’s time for the Wee Crime Festival in lovely Grantown-on-Spey (November 2-4).

This will mark the fourth year I’ve trekked northwards for this absolutely terrific event and one of these years they’ll find me out.

Once again the Crime Writers Associated Players (CWAP) will be debuting a brand new Carry on Sleuthing. There will be drama, horror and tears. And that’s just when Michael J. Malone can’t find his sporran.

Caro Ramsay will once again be taking the leading role. Spinster sleuth Letitia Luvibod is becoming very much her alter ego, I think.

But that’s just one event in the weekend of fun and fear.

There are top names attending this year.

Stuart McBride!

Alex Gray!

Craig Robertson!

Alex Sokoloff!

Neil Broadfoot!

Sandra Ireland!

Thomas Enger!

Margaret Kirk!

Helen Forbes!

Hugh Pugh, Barney McGrew!

Well, okay perhaps not the last two.

The events mostly take place in the Pagoda, a terrific venue in the town, while the Saturday night dinner takes over the Garth Hotel restaurant and the Sunday session will be found in Grantown Golf Club.

Come along and make a weekend of it. It is a truly great festival – Marjorie in the Bookmark and her willing band of volunteers really do a great job in pulling all this together.