I’ve been on the telly recently.
When I’m drunk I’ll sleep anywhere.
Sorry – you should know by now I never miss the chance to go for a cheap laugh.
Anyway, I’ve recorded a series of short true crime features for STV Glasgow called ‘Glasgow Confidential.’
I try not to watch anything I’ve done because, frankly, I can’t stand the sight of me.
Yes, it’s a vanity thing.
We all have images of ourselves. Well, okay, I have an image of myself and the person I see on the TV screen is not the same person I see looking back at me from the mirror. There are similarities of course but that’s as far as it goes.
I once said I had a striking resemblance to the young Mel Gibson, if someone had been striking Mr Gibson with an iron bar for a few minutes.
TV makes me realise how right I was.
Am I really THAT baw-faced? And are my teeth really SO squint? (To explain, when I was a child, my mother made me eat my crusts because it would give me straight teeth and curly hair but I couldn’t have done it right because I’ve got straight hair and curly teeth.)
However, these features have been really well put together by Marco Federici, who has done a masterful job in making me curb my usual wordiness to deliver some crisp, straight-to-the-point reports. The time limit does mean we only skim the surface of the cases, though.
My mate and prize-winning author Neil Broadfoot is now doing something similar in Edinburgh.
Honestly, can’t see green cheese, that Broadfoot.
Anyway, here are two of the pieces first broadcast on The Riverside Show.
